Dear Young Woman

I've made a ton of mistakes in life. As a result of those mistakes, I've suffered a lot of consequences and had to face and overcome a LOT of challenges. One thing I've learned though is that Jesus would never let me go through something if He didn't intend to bring glory from it (Romans 8:28). One thing that I have graciously come to terms with is that my past and my mistakes were not only meant to make me stronger in Christ and to have a deeper understanding of His ever-compassionate grace and mercy; but I made my mistakes so that one day I can help someone else steer clear of the paths that I took. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says it pretty well: "So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

If I could write myself a letter, go back in time and deliver it to myself and save myself from all those mistakes... I'm not sure I would. Jesus knew I was going to make those mistakes and still CHOSE me and CREATED me and DIED for me. So although I would never wish to change the past (even though I would love to take back the hurt I inflicted on my loved ones), I hope some young woman out there reads this and takes to heart what I learned through my mistakes. I hope someone hears this and I hope it makes a difference. If I could write myself that letter... This is what it would say:

_________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Young Woman:

Chances are, you are reading this at a time when you are trying to figure out who you are. Let me tell you, first and foremost, 

#1) You are God's daughter. You are royalty. No matter what the world tells you, no matter what the kids say or what the emotions in your head say; no matter what the billboards portray those other women as, YOU ARE GODS CHOSEN. Royal. It says so in 1 Peter 2:9. And a true royal is not stuck up or cocky, but she is learning confidence, humility, and how to be a servant. True gracefulness and poise comes not from having people serving you, but learning how to serve others and how to to LOVE doing it. Serving others (and ultimately Christ) will bring you joy on the days you feel unwanted and depressed and devalued because you will receive a gift that no words of confirmation can bring - you will receive the gift of someone's joy when they are blessed by YOU. You may think right now receiving is a beautiful thing, and it is; but you have the heart of your Father! It's in your DNA to love serving others; and when you serve others, you connect with Jesus in a way you have never experienced before. "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." - Matthew 20:28

#2) You are not required to fight for God's love. Gods love is a crazy thing because we are so used to feeling like we have to fight for love and acceptance. But God is not asking you to do that. God is fierce. He proved His point in the loudest way possible by sending His Son to die for you (John 3:16).

God will not only fight your battles with you, but God will fight FOR you - to keep you as His daughter. He isn't wimpy. He's strong and fierce and brave and when things get tough, all you have to do is call on the name of Jesus and you will find refuge. "He will cover you with His feathers and shelter you with His wings; His faithful promises are your armor and protection." -Psalm 91:4 // "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

#3) Go easy on your parents - they're still learning! Just as much as you think they expect YOU to be perfect, often we expect our parents to be perfect too. But even though they are our authority and our examples, truth is, sometimes they feel terrified for you. They know how hard this world is and they know that people are out to use you, to walk all over you, to take advantage of you, and those people are willing to pretend to be your best friends in order to do so. Listen to your parents about your friends (Proverbs 1:8). They pick up on things. Even though those friends might be helping you get away with things behind your parents' backs, the guilt you feel is forming a wall between you and your loved ones. Honesty and reconciliation is the only thing that is going to break that wall down. As long as you live in secret and sneak around you are continuing to stack bricks on that wall and there will continue to be that hardness in your heart towards everyone on the other side. You may not realize it now, but you are building bitterness and resentment towards them because sin is fun - and if you're having to do it behind their backs then that must mean they just don't want you to have fun, right? WRONG. They just know the cost of those things. It's not just a drink of alcohol or a kiss from a hot guy, its a careful dance with the devil - one you think you can control but never will be able to. Which leads me to my next point... 

#4) If your sin wasn't fun, you wouldn't keep doing it. Satan makes sin as fun  so possible to keep you bound. But sin ALWAYS requires MORE from you. Everytime you have to go further, you need a little more. You get "so close" to feeling "satisfied" and you know that maybe if next time you drink more or party more or "live it up more" you'll reach that point of distraction - oops, I meant satisfaction - but I promise you it will never be enough. You will always need more. Jesus is the only thing that will ever satisfy you. If you truly want to feel weightlessly joyful and complete, give your heart to JESUS. "The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." -Psalm 28:7

#5) There will always be boys that want you. Whether you are aware of it or not. But you cannot truly be happy with someone until you are happy WITHOUT someone. If you jump into a relationship or flirtationship while you are still unsure of who you are, you are going to begin to depend on that person to define your beauty. When they aren't around to reassure you, all those little insecurities creep back up and torment you. 1 Peter 3:3-5 says that "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self,the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." Work on THAT, and you'll find somebody worth your time. But don't rush it. Love is exciting, but even though "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18, if you fall for the wrong person, you end up giving a piece of your heart away. And although Jesus can always restore what's been broken, why give the enemy that foothold in your life? He doesn't realize that he's been defeated and he will try to throw those awful things back in your face. You don't need to be fighting off shame every day of your life. Jesus wants you to live a free, ABUNDANT life. 

And finally,

#6) Enjoy YOUR journey with Jesus. Not your parents, not your youth pastors; make it PERSONAL. Parents and pastors can point you to the right places in scripture to start, but find out who Jesus is calling you to be - find out what it takes to be Jesus' best friend and learn to thrive in that. Talk to Him often. Get to know His heart. "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18​. You have to learn to ENJOY life. And the only way to en(JOY) life is to experience the joy that comes from life with Jesus; to live how you were made to: in constant praise and worship of Jesus. When you do that, you will always have the peace that comes with it and you will ALWAYS know the love of your Father. Know that in ANY situation you can praise Jesus and watch your chains fall off. Just like Paul and Silas did in Acts 16! If you feel bound, PRAISE JESUS. Watch your chains fall off. And watch the chains on others around you fall off. The joy of The Lord is not only contagious, but the joy of The Lord is our STRENGTH. 

Trust in Jesus - He knows what He's doing!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:3

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 

Love,

Someone Who Already Learned (and is still learning!) ❤️

  

Hey, You Wear That Jesus Well!

I had some free time today on my lunch and I was able to scroll down my Facebook newsfeed! As I was scrolling I saw a few posts that I had to hide from my feed, and a few posts that made me feel really gross about what my generation is like. It challenged me not only to pray for this generation more... but to thank Jesus for the people that are still pursuing Him wholeheartedly - the people that encourage me and inspire me. The people I see Jesus in and the people I want to be like! So instead of focusing on the people conforming to the expectations and temptations of the world, I want to take a second to focus on the people that SHINE and the people that are transforming their lives to look like Jesus more and more every day; the people that inspire me, encourage me, and truly make a difference each day they live! I want to brag on the people that show Jesus and the people that strengthen me and bring me joy (even though I don't tell them often enough). These are just a few people who's hearts shine and I wanted to spotlight!

@Bethany Krawietz - This girl is dedicated to her studies. I truly admire how smart she is! She works hard, studies hard, and she's going FAR! She has ambition and drive and she knows what it's like to push yourself and to lean on Christ to strengthen you enough to get you through! Thank you Bethany for living out Phillippians 4:13 with your life!

@Mario Guerra - This guy has a passion for REVIVAL. He's an open vesssel at all times ready to be used by Jesus to shake the world up! I have no doubt in my mind that there is any place that The Lord would call him to that he wouldn't go to. He would give his life for his King and to see this world encounter JESUS! And that's a vision I stand behind! Thank you Mario for living out Isaiah 6:8 with your life!

@Audrey Self - This girl has always been artistic, dedicated, bright, and has always excelled in everything she does! As long as I've known her she's set high goals and taken every step needed to meet them! The last year for her has been a harder climb then anything I can imagine but she hasn't given up! She still shines, she's dedicated and she's a hard worker! She's developed endurance- and she's developing more every day! Every time I see her beautiful face light up my newsfeed I'm reminded to keep working, no matter how hard things seem! Endurance is a beautiful thing! Thank you Audrey for living out James 1:4 with your life!

@Jami David - One word: authentic. This beautiful lady is authentically full of JOY! I haven't spent a ton of one-on-one time with this woman but she has impacted my world in ways she hasn't realized as I've watched her vibrantly live for Jesus! Down to earth, fun, beautiful, and FAITH FILLED- everything she posts is authentically and UNIQUELY her. She's a servant, a worshipper, and loyal - but the thing that I thank Jesus for is her JOY. Jami, you are beautiful - and your joy encourages me from 300 miles away. You show the world what a praiser looks like every time you step on stage to use your gifts for Jesus as well as all the moments you're off-stage. Thank you for living out Psalm 28:7 with your life!

@Francis Isibor - How many times has this guy dug into the Word of God; how many times has he gone out to Whataburger with people from TBI (or out with people in general) solely with the purpose of talking about Jesus and sharing what he's being shown? I couldn't count the times I've seen him sharing wisdom and seeking wisdom, and to be honest if you asked him he probably couldn't count them either. Francis is close to the Fathers heart and is wise beyond his years! I admire that so much - because with every piece of wisdom Francis gains he gains a better understanding of our Father's heart! Not only that, but he's always ready to share what The Lord is showing him! Thank you Francis for living out Colossians 2:2-3 with your life!


@Bridgette Watson - I want to be fearless. I want to be adventurous - to have a heart for the world, and to be the unique person that God created me to be. I want to stand out - to be DIFFERENT and beautifully unique. Whether this girl is raising money for human trafficking, posting her OOTD, or loving on her parents, her STYLE is there, her mark is is there - and she is making her beautiful impression on this world by being the beautiful person Jesus has transformed her into! She stands out because she is FEARLESSLY HERSELF! Thank you Bridgette for living out Romans 12:2 with your life!

@Abby Burchfield - This woman radiates Jesus. Whether it's in her persistence, her purity, her patience, or her dedication to Jesus, she radiates the very purity and innocence that comes from being completely in love with your Savior. She is elegant and ladylike and truly is a role model for young women and mature women alike! She truly radiates Jesus by the way she intentionally chooses to live for Him daily and that beautiful radiance is something I admire and strive after! Thank you Abby for living out Psalm 37:6 with your life! (PS, NLT hits the nail on the head ;D)

Thank you all for all you do! You've shown me Jesus and I know I'm not the only one you're showing Him to. Never stop growing, never stop living out Phillippians 2:13!

Your friend,
Anna

My (Romance) Novel.

His name was Sutton. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Even his name was intriguing. He was fit. Sweet. Rock hard abs. Always smiling; always there for me. He was everything and anything I ever wanted.

And he truly was, until the next Christmas, when I got another Barbie doll that took his place.

Now that I've got your attention...

See, growing up, I loved playing Barbie dolls. I've always been creative and I've always loved to author stories. Barbies were actors in my play; characters in my movies with whatever plot I wanted. And that's what they were created to be. No matter who or what I chose to make Sutton, he was always smiling. However, we as people? We were created a little bit differently.

I once heard this story, and it goes a little like this:

Now this a story all about how my life got flipped- turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there....

Just kidding. This is actually the story of a man named Jonah that I read in this really cool book I was reading the other day...

1 The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

3 But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. (Jonah 1:1-3)

HA. Poor Jonah. Did he really think he could run from the Lord? God had called Him! God wanted to use him as a LEADER to bring people to their Father! But Jonah was SCARED. So Jonah got on a ship and tried to run from God and God's plan for Jonah's life. -Pause-

August 11th, 2014 (exactly 5 months ago today) was a big day for me. It was the day I began my adult life in San Antonio, Texas. I packed up my things and embarked on the journey. I got 2 jobs and was attending school about 30 hours a week, give or take. I was eating healthy, working out at 5am every morning, waking up an hour before then to have my scheduled Jesus time, studying till about 1am every night, and running out of juice. I started a Bible study in San Antonio at my apartment, and was trying to keep myself full of godly wisdom for that. I decided that I was going to be unstoppable. I wanted to succeed at every aspect and have everything work out to my advantage and I wanted it RIGHT THEN. I wanted to make it, to be successful; but I didn't want to wait. I wanted to be like successful people I've seen in my life, "even if I died trying". I quickly ran out of "juice"- and everything started falling apart. I was tired.

I stepped down from leading the Bible study and I began to hide. My passions (fitness, cosmetology) became chores, and I found myself dependent on energy drinks and sugar highs just to get through the day. I was falling asleep in class, in church, during my Jesus time, I was even pulling off the road nearly every time I drove because I was too tired and needed sleep; and those were just the physical effects. Emotionally I was spent too. I began receiving harsh treatment from the majority of my classmates at school due to an incident I stood my ground on. I became weak, and instead of standing up for myself, I stepped back from everything and tried to blend in. I began living a complacent life. I focused on "making it". But God had so much more.

See, just like Jonah, God had called me to more. God didn't want me "making it" or "blending in". God has placed a call on my life to be a leader. I'm God's daughter, and His desire isn't for me to "make it" but to THRIVE, to enjoy the life He gave me. But I didn't value that. I had a plan of my own, and I was willing to do whatever it took to carry it out. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know the consequences.

Resume. So Jonah gets on this big boat right? And this huge storm comes. God causes this storm, because He's trying to get Jonah's attention (funny, I've had my fair share of storms lately too... conicidence? ;D).

To make a long(ish) story short, the people Jonah was with throw him over the boat, the storm stops, Jonah gets swallowed by a fish and in this fish, and he finally begins to focus on God. He cries out and praises God and surrenders His life to God once more. The fish spits Jonah out on land, God commands him once more to go to Ninevah, and this time Jonah obeys.

I used to think this story was just about obedience. But today, Jesus revealed something a little different to me. Jonah was running from his calling. Jonah was just like me. He had heard God's plan, but he had a plan of his own. Little did he know, he would never be satisfied. So a storm came, and in that storm, Jonah had time to focus on his relationship God. And he finally listened.

My most recent storm came when I lost my job. It was the final straw, but it was a blessing in disguise. In the time off, I was able to focus on God. I was able to take a step back and focus more on me and Jesus. I realized that I had been running from my calling of being a leader. By blending in, I had become a follower. I had stopped living radically. I thought that I could make it by being low-key and quiet, but that's not who God called me to be. He called me to be a leader. Leaders live loud- but not by their words; they live loud by example. By their lives. By the way they pursue God; by the way they surrender.

In order to be happy, I have to be authentic. And the way I am authentic is by being who God called me to be. God called me to lead people to Him. Whether its in my school, at my job, at the store, God as called me to live a joyous life and to be an example of his faithfulness, grace, and love. In fact, He's called all believers to that. I began to realize that I can't expect to be happy if I'm just "blending in". If I'm not pursuing everything God has for me and focusing on who HE wants me to be and what HE wants me to do, I'm like Jonah. I'm running from my calling. And just as Jonah learned, I've learned that that does NOT work.

We have to be willing to put ourselves out there, to stand out; to meet people and (go figure) LEAD people to Christ. We have to be willing to surrender wholeheartedly to God's plan for our lives; no matter where it takes us!

I wonder if there are others out there right now, who are also feeling tired, unsatisfied. And I wonder if maybe the reason they're not content is that they're not living loudly and passionately the way God has called them to live. Maybe that's you. Maybe you're being complacent, maybe you're only "getting by" in your relationship with God. Maybe it's as simple as you not being satisfied because you haven't brought anybody to Jesus or you're not living radically like you used to. All I know is, God called us to more. He always has more for us. He never wants us to just "get by". He wants us to thrive, to enjoy life, He wants to pour out His blessings on us and He WANTS to use us.  Not just for Himself, He wants to use us because that is the one thing that will satisfy us. It's what we were created to do. Just like I liked using my Barbies to write a story, God created all of us and put us on this Earth to bring joy to Him. And the way we do that is by letting Him use us. We weren't made to fit in. We were meant to stand out, to live radically; to be used by the very hands that created us. Nothing will ever satisfy us like He does.

I've stopped trying to find pleasure, happiness, romance. I've stopped pretending like I ever had any control over it and surrendered to the fact that I was made to bring God the glory He deserves. My challenge? Surrender. Stop trying to work things out on your own. Stop trying to "find" pleasure. Stop trying to write your story and let Jesus write your novel. Let Jesus direct your life. Let Jesus use you. Nothing else satisfies. And that's it.

The End.

The Red Sock..(or in my case, the board shorts)

I'm terrible at laundry. Now, before you make any assumptions, my mom always did laundry for me. I remember growing up and even wanting to learn how to do laundry a few times- but every time I asked my mom if I could do my laundry (which wasn't too often, but hey, I'm a teen), she always told me "no, I haven't had time to properly show you yet." 

I went off to college with probably 2 formal "laundry-washing classes". Our machines were pretty simple, and I knew the basics; separate your lights and darks, pour the soap in here, and always make sure the washer has a chance to air dry before closing the door (take notes if this is all new to you). I knew that you had to clean the lint catcher thing on the dryer- in fact, when Lizi and I were little, we used to fight over who got to clean it because the lint was SO soft, and I even knew that certain things just had to be hung up in order to dry correctly. But I'm not sure I ever knew the importance of washing clothes in COLD water. I'm sure my mom  told me, but it was probably one of those things I tuned out (I'm working on that, but that's for another blog). 

This summer, as most of you know, I'm a lifeguard at Discovery Camp. Lifeguards have the coolest uniforms. All day, staff is in orange polos, blue shorts, and Nike Frees - but not lifeguards. For services, we get to wear orange and blues, but the rest of the time we have our own uniform. Lifeguards get to wear cool grey tank tops (so we can get "awesome" racerback tans and show off our "shredded arms"... or lackthereof), bright red board shorts, and flip flops. 

Being new to the world of laundry as I am, I decided to throw all of my stuff in together. I put my clothes in the washer along with my socks and my white undershirts, started my laundry, and went to my room. Sure enough, when I came back, I opened the washer to find a whole lot of pink socks, undershirts, and even a pink towel. At first I didn't even think the stuff was mine- it was like it had been completely changed! But as I stared at the culprit- my bright red board shorts, the frightening truth settled in- I was going to look like a valentine outfit gone wrong for the next few weeks. Dude, it's something about that color red.  

Today is Sunday. My official blogging day. As I talked to Jesus about this blog and what He wanted me to say, He told me this one thing: Bring my people back. 

Sounds cool, right? Except... I had NO idea what He wanted me to tell my readers to come back to. Every single topic I've blogged about has been something Jesus is calling me personally to- and this blog is NO exception. By the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and just straight up confusion, I pulled out my old journals. I figured, if Jesus was trying to call me back to something, a good place to go would be those old Jesus journals. As I started searching, I was led to one specific revelation. It's a revelation that until today I had forgotten about. But today, as Jesus challenges ME to come back, that revelation has become alive in me again. And this time I don't plan on letting it go. Hang tight, because I know I threw you off with that laundry story, but it's going to tie in! (Get it, tie? Cause I'm talking about laundry? LOL okay, I'm sorry, that was awful) 

I started thinking about innocence and purity. I can't think of a time in my life when it was easier then when I was just innocent and pure. And although Jesus has restored those things to me, sometimes human Anna just wishes she could go back to the innocence of a child. So as I pressed in, the Holy Spirit led me to John 19:34. It's a chapter about Jesus' crucifixion, and I know sometimes that topic stings a little, but stick with me. It says, "One of the soliders, however, pierced Jesus' side with a spear, and immediately blood and water poured out." 

It wasn't just the blood; water flowed out too. As I pressed in more, I realized how important that water was. As Christians, we always focus on the bruising of the body and the blood that Jesus shed. But Jesus wanted to take me further. I dug in, and found this passage in John: "... Rivers of living water will flow from His heart. (When he said "living water", he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in Him)..." -John 7:38-39(NLT). That's when it hit me- the living water that flowed from Jesus, the very living water that cleanses us IS THE HOLY SPIRIT- the VERY Spirit that is residing inside of US, inside of YOU, inside of ME! So not only is the Spirit inside of me, but so is it's cleansing power. And that living water not only gives me the authority and power to FORGIVE others, but also to be forgiven and cleansed MYSELF.

As I thanked Jesus for the cleansing power of His living water, He reminded me of the reason why. That water would've never flowed out of Jesus and into us if they hadn't cut Jesus' flesh; it would've never entered us without the blood. The blood was completely necessary and without it, it's impossible for us to be clean. There's something about that color red. We must FIRST accept the blood, we must first deny our flesh, and then we penetrate deep and receive the living water. They had to cut His flesh to penetrate His spirit. Jesus calls us to set aside OUR flesh; all those worldly desires and habits, and in return, his living water consumes us, cleanses us, and completes us. The Holy Spirit comes in and empowers us. But not without the blood. It's something about that color red.

Something about that color red that cleans; something about that color red that brings the water that washes and sets us free. Just like those red board shorts overtook my laundry, the blood and the water overtake us. It makes us into something totally new. I didn't recognize my laundry at first; and maybe people wont recognize us and our new-found innocence at first. But unlike tacky pink socks and undershirts, our new innocence shines bright white, free from any blemish or any past regrets. And just as Jesus challenged me today, I also challenge YOU. Come back to Jesus; come back to innocence. Accept the blood, but don't stop there. Welcome the living water. It poured out of Jesus, and He wants it to pour into YOU. He WANTS you back; He wants you to be radiant again. Jesus wants you to love Him wholeheartedly, and He wants you to never feel condemned by your past again. He wants to cleanse you. 

"When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to Him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" 

Jesus replied, "You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will."

"No," Peter protested. "You will never ever wash my feet!"

Jesus replied, "Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me." (John 13:6-8)

It's up to you. Will you let Jesus wash you? It's time to let go of the past and regain your innocence; it's time to come back. 

Do You Even Lift?

We've all seen 'em. They're those people that walk into the gym, hair perfectly secured and styled, sporting the latest Nike Frees and latest designer gym wear. They have more of a fake tan than they have muscles and their gym membership is more of an accessory than it actually is a tool for fitness. They're the ones that hit the tredmill till they break a sweat, take a few selfies, and call it a day. Sometimes they might pick up a 5 pound dumbell, but when it comes down to it they're all show. They haven't built up the stamina or the strength to go the mile or curl anything more than the weight of their Starbucks coffee. They have a gym membership, but when it comes to lifting, they're pretty much useless. 

Now, I'm not hating on cardio. I'm not even hating on Starbuks coffee or fake tans. I actually am a fan of all of them. See, I don't have an issue with any of those things. Where my issue comes up is when it becomes an image that tricks others, and even themselves, into thinking they're fit when the truth is my dog probably has more muscle. 

Those were the people I bagged on. Those were even sometimes the people I resented. They looked so good. When  I leave the gym, my hair is usually going 97 different directions, I'm panting like an old dog, and I probably smell bad enough to kill the flowers surrounding the gym on the way back out to my car...(okay, just kidding about that last part). But it wasn't much longer after bagging on those people that Jesus showed me that I had become one of them. No, not in the gym sense, but in a much more important sense.

Allow me to go where, to my knowledge, nobody has been crazy enough to go yet. Allow me to compare my walk with Christ to a gym membership. Because I have surrendered to Jesus, I have been granted access to the Kingdom (or, in this case, my gym membership has been activated). I go to the gym as often as I please. I praise Jesus and walk in faith until I break a sweat- until it becomes a little uncomfortable, and then I call it a day. Sure, I look good going in and even good coming out. And as far as everyone there is concerned, I put in a little work. But what's the point? What's the point of going to the gym if you're not lifting weights? What's the point of going to the gym if you're not building muscle, growing? See, if I go to the gym every other day for 2 weeks and curl 15lb weights, I can guarantee you that by the next time I go to the gym, I'll have built up enough muscle to start curling 20lb weights. And if I stay consistent with that, the same way I did with the 15's, soon enough I'll be curling 25's, and 45's, and so forth. Your muscles remember what it's like to lift that weight and the more you do it, the easier it becomes to lift heavier weights. 

Well, I'm sure you guessed where I'm going with that. But it's the same way with our walk with God. We are constantly tempted with things, but because we live as "cardio Christians", only raising our heartbeat and working until we break a sweat, we never learn what it's like to lift real weights. And when real temptation comes, when the heavy weights need to be lifted, we don't know how. Our muscles haven't built up enough strength to lift them, and we're left feeling weak and defeated. But that's not what God wants. That's why he sent the Holy Spirit, who in this analogy, acts as our personal trainer. He's constantly there, encouraging us, cheering us on, spotting us. He's advising us when it's time to lift and when it's time to rest. He's reminding us when to take a break to get filled with water (the Living Water, that is), and He's making sure we develop our muscles so that when the heavy things come at us, we've already lifted it. 

That's what it's like every time we respond to temptation. We have the opportunity to either take a gym selfie and bail, or we have the opportunity to start lifting weights. We have the opportunity to start building up muscle and gaining stamina. This is how we get strong against the devil, this is how we rip the authority out of the hands of an already defeated devil. We learn to lift little, and the more we lift the little, the more our strength increases; the more weight we can lift increases. Every time we're tempted, we have the opportunity to pick up a weight. We have the opportunity to lift, even though it might be hard, and keep lifting that weight until it becomes easier. But don't worry, it'll never be too much. The Holy Spirit, your personal trainer, will never let you pick up a weight that you can't lift, that you can't handle. He's training us, guiding us, and teaching us how to become strong. He's developing our muscles through consistency, practice, and repetition. And through that, we gain strength. Soon, the temptations that used to make sweat pour down our backs is making us sigh with relief that that's all we have to lift. Soon, we're looking at temptations we used to freak out at like they're a rubber band and we're looking towards the heavy weights saying "bring it on, I can do all things through Christ." (Phil 4:13)

Even though I said "we" throughout this blog, this blog was definitely for me. I've been battling temptation and giving in, but Jesus is teaching me how to lift. He's showing me that the more I say no to temptation, the more that I lift those weights, the easier it becomes. Every "no" to the devil is a "yes" to the Father, and every rejection of sin is a projection of Jesus. Every time I say no to temptation, every time I offer my obedience as a gift to Jesus, it makes me stronger. So I'm going on with Jesus. I'm lifting the weights that are heavy now, but with confident hope and expectation that my endurance is being built, as well as my strength. Tomorrow, it won't be so hard. Because I'll remember the strength that I had to lift the weights today. 

So, are you in? Let's get spiritually swole. Don't wait, start lifting today.
#gymselfie

"..And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." -1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

"If you are faithful in the little things, you will be faithful in the large ones..." -Luke 16:10 NLT

"This High Priest of ours understands our weakness, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin." - Hebrews 4:15 NLT

"For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." -James 1:3-4 NLT

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him." -Philippians 2:13 NLT

Look At The Blueprint

It's been a long time since I've blogged. So first let me just run you through a quick little update of what's been going on with me! 

This summer I am on staff at Discovery Camp in Columbus, Texas. I have been given the opportunity to reach thousands of children and be a part of them meeting their Savior in a completely new, personal way. Over one thousand kids have already accepted Jesus as their Savior. It's SO cool. I grew up as a camper at this camp, and the older I got as an intern at this camp. Serving as an intern blessed me SO much over the years and I couldn't wait to be on staff. I was so ready to serve. I knew it'd be hard, I knew I would probably forget what 8 hours of sleep felt like, and I definitely knew I would never take my momma's cooking for granted again. But the thing that I didn't expect, the thing that my heart was NOT prepared for, were the enemy's attacks.

Now, I could probably spend this whole blog giving you the details of all that's come against me since I've been here (like the financial issues, the girl I work with who thinks it's fun to call me stupid and tell me to shut up, the (stupid) constant dissatisfaction with my body I've been battling, or even the car wreck and pain I've been in since). But let me instead just tell you the things that have actually succeeded to discourage me or stop me from what Jesus has called me to: oh wait... that's NOTHING.

You see, the enemy has no power. He never has. The only power he has over you is the power YOU hand him. I decided before this summer that I wouldn't let the enemy prevail, I wouldn't give him any power, and I wouldn't let his petty efforts touch me. You see, satan can't create anything new. He came to steal, kill, and destroy, but he did not come to create. Just like Adam and Eve gave him power when they gave in, we give him power when we give into temptation. Then, after we have surrendered and given things to Jesus, the devil comes back and uses that power we once gave him to try to tempt us again. But it doesn't work UNLESS WE LET IT. Unless we give in. And the power the devil has tried relentlessly to take over me, is the power of doubt, insecurity, and shame. Not doubt, or shame of my Savior- but doubt and shame of myself. The devil constantly throws my mistakes, my shortcomings, and my trip ups in my face. And every time I look at them, every time I look at my life, I get discouraged. My joy starts to run a little on empty. See, I want to please my Savior. I want to be on the right track and I don't want to be giving into temptation or giving the devil any power over my life. And when I look at my life and the mistakes I've made, I see how unworthy I truly am; when I start to look at my unworthiness, instead of my value in Christ, I get discouraged. 

You see, the devil can attempt to destroy Christians all he wants. But wouldn't it make his job so much easier if instead of destroying Christians, he just made a bunch of fake Christians? Then we'd essentially do his job for him. Instead of having less Christians, we would have a bunch of corrupt Christians- claiming to be walking the walk but going through the motions without the hearts behind it. 

I was tempted to look at me, when all I needed to be looking at was the cross. I could look at the times I had stumbled, the times I have deliberately chosen to do the wrong thing this summer, and all of the thoughts that I shouldn't have thought- or I could look at the blood that covers them. I could look at the anguish I'm feeling and the guilt pressing down on me, or I could picture those very same emotions pulsing through the blood of Jesus- the blood that dripped off Him as his life was drained so mine could be full. You see, whenever I look at me, I get disappointed. But when I look at Jesus... sweet, sweet Jesus... I see grace. I see forgiveness. I see love. I see acceptance. I see HOLY.

Another way to look at it is like this: when a builder is building a house, he's looking at a blueprint. He's constructing this house, room by room, trying to make it match this blueprint. Picture that blueprint as Jesus, and our lives are the house. We are constantly constructing our lives to match a blueprint. But what if the builder stopped about halfway through, looked at the house and at the blueprint, saw that it didn't look the same- and got discouraged? What if he gave up building because it wasn't finished yet? 

Well, that's our walk with Jesus. We are constantly building ourselves to look like Jesus. And sometimes, when we stop and look at our progress, we get discouraged because we don't see the finished house yet. Maybe we're still working on individual rooms, like the "room" of compassion for other people, the room of grace and mercy, the room of purity, the room of serving others. But we can't stop building just because we aren't finished yet. We have to keep on, constructing board by board, room by room, until we look just like Jesus. The enemy wants to discourage us. He wants us to give  up and stop building, thinking "this project is too big, I'm never going to finish", when the truth is, if we just take our eyes off of US and put them back on the blueprint (JESUS) and keep building, we will start looking more and more like Jesus. We will have less insecurities, less doubt, less fear, and we will enter into a romance with Jesus unlike anything we have ever imagined. So as I stood there, looking at myself, looking at my mistakes, looking at all my flaws, Jesus whispered to me: "Stop looking at yourself, stop looking at your progress, and look at ME. Look at the blueprint." 

You see, it was never the sin in my life that was the problem anyways. (I know what you're thinking, but bare with me for just a minute). It wasn't the sin, but it was the heart behind it. It wasn't about me throwing up to keep the weight off, it was about the control I needed and the fear of the opinion of others. It wasn't about me crying and moping because somebody made me feel like crap, it was about me listening to their voice more than I listened to Jesus', the voice that told me I was wanted, loved, cherished; pursued. And even to take it a little further, it wasn't about talking back to my daddy when he spoke to me; it was about me not trusting the Holy Spirit to be my advocate and to defend me. Once I fix my heart on God, once I learn to keep my eyes on Jesus all the time and NOT on my own life and my mistakes, time is gonna fly. My house is going to be built so much faster and before I know it, my house is gonna look like the blueprint. I long to see that day. But until then, I'll keep pressing in. Keep loving Jesus. Keep constructing my life, board by board, room by room. I might stumble, but I'm not gonna focus on that. I'm focusing on making my heart like Jesus', I'm focusing on the cross, and I'm focusing on the blueprint. Because I don't know any greater joy than a life lived to pursue Jesus and to look like Jesus. In case you haven't noticed, He's pretty cool. And He's the best at what He does: loving people. And that's a legacy I'd love to leave.

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the POWER to do what pleases Him." -Philippians 2:13

That's What Makes You Beautifullllllll ;)

If you read the title of this without bursting out into the One Direction song, I'd be pretty impressed- cause ever since I typed that title I haven't been able to get the chorus out of my head.

My last blog, I became victim of what I like to call "conceited blogging". To be honest with y'all, when I saw that the first day my blog went up it got over 450 hits, I instantly felt like a celebrity; like people were actually curious about what I had to say. I let it feed my ego a little, and the very thing that I was blogging about (identity) was the very thing I began to misplace. I placed my identity (that day) into a sea of words that probably should've just stayed scribbled out in my journal as a personal letter to Jesus.

But "tonight", at 1:29am as I toss in bed, one specific topic plagued my mind. (Actually, to be honest, I made myself coffee at 11:20pm and I haven't even thought about sleep even though I have to be up for church in 5 hours). But the topic that I'm stuck on just happens to be BEAUTY.


I guess this ones gonna be mostly for the girls; but not just any girl. This blog is for the girls who don't want to just grow up to be "women", but want to grow up to be ladies. This ones for the girls who want to be virtuous, who want to be brave; this ones for the girls who still believe in chivalry and class. CLASS is still attainable. Lady-likeness is still attainable. And, believe it or not, even if you can't sew, being a Proverbs 31 woman is still possible (that's why Jesus created seamstresses, even if you aren't one I bet you know where to find one).


I saw this video (link will be on the bottom of this blog), and it was a Dove video about redefining SELFIES. Selfies, of all things. And it really got me thinking. I think about all the little things I do in selfies. And not just selfies, all pictures really. I think about how I self consciously stick a leg out to flatter my body or how I try to stand on the left side because that's where my sidebangs fall on my face and it looks prettier; I think about how I suck in or how I open my eyes wider, how I tilt my head and how I place my hand on my waist to emphasize my smallest parts... and I realized, pictures are so posed. I know you're probably thinking, "duh Anna". But stay with me a minute.

Pictures are so posed. And where do we get our definition of beauty from? Images. Sure, a part of it comes from seeing other girls; girls that are skinnier than us, that wear less makeup than us and still look "less ratchet" then us (oh and by the way, I'm guilty of this too, but in case you weren't aware, a "ratchet" is a tool, not an adjective)... But my point is we constantly are comparing ourselves to that "one in a million shot" that was taken of a model and airbrushed and posed but yet what we compare ourselves to is what we see when we get out of the shower and our faces are red and splotchy and our mascara from the night before has dripped under our eyes and we look like zombies. And then we look in the mirror and we see all these other images of beautiful people flash through our heads... but they are POSED. They aren't necessarily fake (although some are), but they are POSED.


I want to challenge you in a few different ways, because this has what Jesus has put on my heart personally to do. Here goes:

1) Stop comparing your worst to somebody else's best. I realize it's human nature to compare, and although I don't agree with it, I know it's how our minds work. So here's my (hopefully) very realistic challenge. Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to somebody else, I want you to 1) STOP. And then next, I want you to get on the cutest outfit you have, I want you to curl your hair and put on your blush and favorite lipstick and whatever else you like to put on that gorgeous canvas of yours, and then I want you to check yourself out. GIRLLLLL, you be lookin' good. And instead of focusing on the features of that other chick, I want you to focus on YOUR beautiful features. How great you feel in those jeans or that skirt. Pay yourself 5 compliments. You deserve it girl. And might I add, those jeans make your tush look GREATTTT ;)
2) For every feature you don't like, find one you do like. Pretty self explanatory, right? But next time you find yourself staring at that awkward bacne (and for those of you who don't know what that is, those are back pimples that girls sometimes get when they decide to use horse shampoo instead of human shampoo as an experiment to make their hair grow... or at least that was what happened to me one summer- I WILL NEVER GO BACK)...anyways where was I? Next time you find yourself staring at those imperfections, I want you to time yourself. I'm serious. You want to look at your bacne, your big nose, your cellulite, fine. But I challenge you to take twice as much time looking at a feature you love. Look at those sparkly eyeballs. Or those deep chocolate pools of yumminess that girls with dark brown eyes have. Take a second to stop staring at the love handles and look at your neck. Your hands. Your ankles. Your ears. Your hair. That freckle on the inside of your arm that you've always thought was really cute. Focus on the things you like. The more of those you find, the less those little other things will  seem to matter.
3) Don't be afraid to smile. No matter who you are, no matter what your smile looks like, I believe a girl is most beautiful when she is happy. I don't care if you have the least amount of confidence in the world. Do what makes you happy. I mean let's be blunt for a second- even if you were "the ugliest person on the face of the planet", putting the right outfit and right amount of makeup on is only gonna help so much. But if you pursue happiness (my favorite form is actually joy and that's through JESUS...), and you are truly content with who you are and the life you live, you will be absolutely radiant. Confidence, joy, happiness, and peace? Those are what I believe defines beauty, because I believe beauty is actually radiance.

So be radiant, ladies. Shine. Know who you are in Christ. Don't take anything less than you deserve. Stop looking at your insecurities and look to Jesus.
"The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." -Psalm 28:7
I don't know about you, but that verse is pretty beautiful to me. And I can't picture anyone who isn't absolutely beautiful and radiant praying that prayer. So I guess I'm adding one more challenge... make Psalm 28:7 YOUR prayer. Become radiant. Because radiance makes you beautiful.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFkm1Hg4dTI